I do not even know where to start with this post. Some of you might find this post offensive and others may not care, but I feel I do best when I can write it down. I have given up on religion. I am done with people judging others, finding fault with one another, not being able to live up to this standard that people themselves cannot even live up to. I am tired of feeling like I am a terrible person for giving up on religion. I have seen and felt the damage. I do want to clarify that I have not given up my beliefs, but just the need to have to belong to one religion or one set of beliefs.
Since as long as I can remember religion has been ingrained in me and up to three years ago it was the center for everything or so I thought. This hasn't been a quick decision or thoughtless choice, it has and will be an on going process. I haven't given up on god and all his goodness, but I see it in a simple light. A good friend's husband once told me that everyone needs to live life with no regrets, do what makes you feel happy. I have not been happy for a long time.About 8 months ago I started to let everything go. I stopped worrying that people could not see eye to eye with me, judging for forgiving my husband, wondering what others thought of me or my beliefs. I just have stopped. A couple of weeks ago I met our neighbors. This amazing woman has changed how I felt, I no longer feel like I am the only one feeling the way that I did. After leaving her house, I thought I am not alone, there are others like me. I could not tell my husband enough that day. He too has been supportive with my feelings. Sometimes I feel like I am beating a dead horse with how many questions and comments I throw at him, but he is patient and answers every single question that I have.
Everything that I get out of this I can exercise my free agency. Yes, there are consequences and I cannot control them, but I can control what makes me happy and what I want to do. I am sure some of you that read this will feel bad, maybe even disappointed, but don't. This choice is mine. Some might say that I do not have a testimony, to those I say you have no idea what is in my heart and only god knows.
I love you and your family, Chaleen! Do what is best for your family- you are an adult and fully capable of making your own choices, and having your own opinion.
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this? Of coarse you have my full support Chaleen. You obviously pay attention to my posts and opinions, and that means a lot to me. And I'm glad you brought this post to my attention. It's so hard to have friends that are centered around "religion". The idea itself has too much power in our society and in my opinion has had a reverse effect on what faith is supposed to be. In the sense that it has become a symbol of power and a higher social status, rather than a symbol of faith. I for one am proud of you Chaleen for having the will and the strength to make this very hard and very taboo decision.
ReplyDeleteYou are now, truly a person of faith. You have chosen to see through the hypocracies of organized religion and the dogma of the religious realm. In my opinion, you have chosen the path that your faith wants you to take.
Now that I know this about you Chaleen, maybe this will make sense to you. I believe anybody who wants to belive in "GOD", should not learn through "The Church". But instead, choose to interpret "the bible" or your "beliefs" in a way that makes sense to you.
Chaleen, you have no idea how much we have in common now. Although, I'm still going through my journey of disovery when it comes to faith. But for now, this is what I believe. I believe that "GOD" is a different being, form, or entity for every individual. Some believe "GOD" is the father of "The Holy Trinity", some believe "GOD" is the "Earth" and some even believe that "Elvis" is "GOD". But for me, "GOD" is "Family" and the love I have for that family.
And the people who Choose to be part of "organized religion" are the ones who need to be saved. Saved from the fear of damnation and fear of dissapointing a "GOD" that isn't there.
But I can go on and on about every aspect of religion, beliefs, the idea of "GOD" and all things that make our race as humans confused about life and what it is supposed to be.
But I want you to know Chaleen, That I, of all people understand the questions that can come up as a result of having or searching for true faith. I would like to hear more from you about what you're feeling. I think I will learn a lot from you and vice versa. If there's anyone you wanna talk to about this that won't judge you, it's me. You are a very dear friend Chaleen, And I feel closer to you already. And if you really wanna talk about it, let me know and I'll call ya. I have unlimited long-distance ;)
And again, congratulations on breaking free from the shackles of judgement and religion.